Can you hear me???

In my heart and my soul I know God is real! But sometimes my head tells me otherwise.

On days like today my head sometimes wins out and I allow myself to question God's value of my life and his involvement in it.

On a day when everything goes wrong, when your stuck between a rock and a hard place, when you wanna scream and you can't, and days when you have to keep still so you don't rock the boat, all you want is to pray to God and hear his voice or to feel his presence but, all you get is a silence.

The haunting kind of stillness that makes you wish it was hours earlier when the volcano of craziness erupted. The kind of silence that makes you feel alone. Like your only company is your echoing voice.

All day the only thing you've wanted was to run away from if all and go to sleep. Now that your away, you hate it. You think "If only God would answer me."

Eventually you close your eyes and drift off in to sleep and the whole experience seams far off and distant.

These are the days when I ask the question... "Can you hear me???"